This time of year is so full of thoughts of Michael for me. Today we were getting coats, snow pants, hats and mittens ready for school tomorrow from the pile of such items accumulated in the entry way. As I sorted and organized, I found a small yellow jacket, too small for Dawson. Before I could stop it the thought "I wonder if this would fit Michael" sailed through my mind.
There are draws full of clothes that are already too small for him. There is a closet and bed waiting. His name is on the wall. He is present in this house even though his body has never been here.
Some times it doesn't ache so deeply. But lately, it does. Every beautiful dark skinned child is a reminder of my son. I do trust that God knows what He is doing. I do believe that God is working out His good purposes for Michael and for us. But it would be misleading to suggest that faith and trust take away confusion and pain. No, they are the strength that carries me through.
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