One of the hardest parts of losing Habakkuk is wondering if we missed God somehow. Adopting two children was not our plan in the beginning. We felt overwhelmed by the thought, but over time it just felt right.
I always thought my wedding ring, with six little diamonds on each side, was a sign that we would have six children someday. Over the past months, looking at my ring would remind me of the children that were coming, our boys.
After Habakkuk died, looking at my ring was painful. Not only because it reminded me that Habakkuk was gone but also the loss of what I thought was a promise.
So, God in His gentle goodness, gave me a new sign. Last Thursday, as I was loading up the bikes for vacation, I notice my ring catching on something. When I looked at it, one of the stones was gone. I looked for it, but didn't find it.
It immediately hit my heart. One of my diamonds is gone. I haven't told anyone this story in person yet, I don't know if I could. But, now when I look at my ring, my heart is filled with sweet sorrow. One of my diamonds is gone.
Peggy, this just pulled at my heart...thank you so much for sharing this story. I am always moved when I see how God has worked in someone's life, in a way that no one would have or could have anticipated. I can only imagine the heartache you have had with the loss of Habakkuk....but thank you for continuing on with your desire and faith. I was also moved as I realized just how significant it was to have planned, funded and built a well so that no more children would die unnecessarily from diseased water. Praise the Lord for what you (and He) has done!
ReplyDeleteI will look forward too, to the day you have your other children here with you. God Bless.