I just had lunch with Grace at school and took the dog for a walk,
actually, I needed the walk, I just took him with me. I was thinking
about my thoughts about how it feels to be in Liberia and how it feels in the US. One thing I long for when I think of Liberia is how unstressed I
feel. I just don't feel anxious in Liberia. All the things that don't really matter, really don't matter. Where, when, how we do things are just details. It will be done, at some point, some how, so why stress about it? I LOVE not knowing what time it is. There are really important things to care about and heart breaking things that make you cry out to God, but they are things that really matter. I think one reason I have so much more energy in Liberia is that I don't waste energy on things that don't really count.
In the US, things like time and schedules and plans and details matter a lot. Endless hours are spent on such things and organizing details. I get wrapped up in it. So much clutter in my life, so many distractions here. Someday I'm going to go through everything and "throw OUT everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles." (my paraphrase of Hebrews 12:1) In the US, it
is much easier for me to feel like I am in control and I realize I am no
more in control here than I am in Liberia. It is just an illusion.
And, I am beginning to
wonder if the difference isn't really Liberia and US. Maybe it's just me.
My birth in Liberia was one of utter dependance. I arrived on that first
trip completely unable to provide for myself. If God didn't take me by
the hand and lead me, I was lost. And, He did! There are so many lessons I continue to go back to on that first experience. God planted seeds of meaning that have taken months, maybe years to harvest. God is Lord of All, the US and Liberia. And He is the same in America and in Africa. So, must I be. 
Some lessons take a long time to learn, and I know really cool people who have awesome life verses. I don't think I'm probably one of them. And I didn't choose this verse, I feel like it chose me because I keep being brought back here time after time. So here we go again. So, I
say once again:Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you. PS 116:7
As I told Mark recently, God doesn't need me to run Teamwork Africa, but I need Teamwork Africa to teach me about God.
