November 6 was Michael's fifth birthday.
I can think about what didn't happen for his birthday this year or I can dream about what it will be like next year. I choose the latter.
I am really excited that a friend of a friend is going to Liberia next week and will, hopefully, be taking a small package with her for our boy. Some matchbox cars and of course, some books. : )
So, Happy Birthday, Michael. Know that you a loved beyond measuse, constantly in my thoughts and prayers.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Finally... some news
I just heard yesterday that the adoptions that were in process, nine months ago, are being completed in Liberia. So, just set our story aside for a second, I can't imagine these families, many just waiting for a visa in Jan. 09, to be on hold for so long. But, finally, two dozen families will soon get their kids.
OK, back to us. So, basically, we are next in line. As soon as these "in process" adoptions are finalized, we are next to go.
Last weekend, I was at a women's retreat with tons of my dear friends, many asked how things were going for our adoption. I told our story of losing Habakkuk and waiting for Michael many times. It was really soul cleansing. I cried tears that were still stored away. It was a jump start to my heart. I realized that I had stunted loving Michael any deeper b/c of Habakkuk's loss. I "froze" my heart. Sometimes it feels like one of those really late night drives, when you are really tired and have been driving a long time, and you are just sure you are never going to get home. Some days, many actually, it feels like that. If I am honest, it feels like we will never bring our boy home. It's just a dream that will fade away in the light of morning.
Although this weekend hurt, it was good. The kind of pain that reminds you that you are alive. This dream is alive. At just the right time, we will bring our son home.
Thank you for any of you out there that pray for us and especially for Michael.
OK, back to us. So, basically, we are next in line. As soon as these "in process" adoptions are finalized, we are next to go.
Last weekend, I was at a women's retreat with tons of my dear friends, many asked how things were going for our adoption. I told our story of losing Habakkuk and waiting for Michael many times. It was really soul cleansing. I cried tears that were still stored away. It was a jump start to my heart. I realized that I had stunted loving Michael any deeper b/c of Habakkuk's loss. I "froze" my heart. Sometimes it feels like one of those really late night drives, when you are really tired and have been driving a long time, and you are just sure you are never going to get home. Some days, many actually, it feels like that. If I am honest, it feels like we will never bring our boy home. It's just a dream that will fade away in the light of morning.
Although this weekend hurt, it was good. The kind of pain that reminds you that you are alive. This dream is alive. At just the right time, we will bring our son home.
Thank you for any of you out there that pray for us and especially for Michael.
Friday, September 18, 2009
On this day nothing happened
Have you ever seen one of those tourist site signs that read "On this day in history, nothing happened here" ? That's how I feel lately. Friends ask once in a while if we have any news, we don't. The only thing I've heard recently wasn't helpful. There is some pressure in Liberia, as they finalize the adoption process, to make adoption more difficult. Please pray that won't happened and we will soon know how long until we can bring Michael home.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Diamonds
One of the hardest parts of losing Habakkuk is wondering if we missed God somehow. Adopting two children was not our plan in the beginning. We felt overwhelmed by the thought, but over time it just felt right.
I always thought my wedding ring, with six little diamonds on each side, was a sign that we would have six children someday. Over the past months, looking at my ring would remind me of the children that were coming, our boys.
After Habakkuk died, looking at my ring was painful. Not only because it reminded me that Habakkuk was gone but also the loss of what I thought was a promise.
So, God in His gentle goodness, gave me a new sign. Last Thursday, as I was loading up the bikes for vacation, I notice my ring catching on something. When I looked at it, one of the stones was gone. I looked for it, but didn't find it.
It immediately hit my heart. One of my diamonds is gone. I haven't told anyone this story in person yet, I don't know if I could. But, now when I look at my ring, my heart is filled with sweet sorrow. One of my diamonds is gone.
I always thought my wedding ring, with six little diamonds on each side, was a sign that we would have six children someday. Over the past months, looking at my ring would remind me of the children that were coming, our boys.
After Habakkuk died, looking at my ring was painful. Not only because it reminded me that Habakkuk was gone but also the loss of what I thought was a promise.
So, God in His gentle goodness, gave me a new sign. Last Thursday, as I was loading up the bikes for vacation, I notice my ring catching on something. When I looked at it, one of the stones was gone. I looked for it, but didn't find it.
It immediately hit my heart. One of my diamonds is gone. I haven't told anyone this story in person yet, I don't know if I could. But, now when I look at my ring, my heart is filled with sweet sorrow. One of my diamonds is gone.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
In Memory of Habakkuk
Last week I was told more about what happened to Habakkuk.
When Habukkuk had malaria, he and Michael were taken to Monrovia so he could be treated. While they were gone, their grandpa died. Families are very important, so the boys went back to their community for the funeral. It was while they were there that Habukkuk got Cholera. I don't think there is any medical facility in their community, so by the time the pastor got there to try to take him to a clinic it was too late.
I also found out that Habukkuk was not the only person to contract Cholera. This community does not have a water well. I assume that means they get the water for all their water needs from an open water source. Our friend will be visiting Liberia at the end of the month. She is going to find out what it will take to put a well in this community. Our dream is to fund raise for the well in memory of Habukkuk.
When Habukkuk had malaria, he and Michael were taken to Monrovia so he could be treated. While they were gone, their grandpa died. Families are very important, so the boys went back to their community for the funeral. It was while they were there that Habukkuk got Cholera. I don't think there is any medical facility in their community, so by the time the pastor got there to try to take him to a clinic it was too late.
I also found out that Habukkuk was not the only person to contract Cholera. This community does not have a water well. I assume that means they get the water for all their water needs from an open water source. Our friend will be visiting Liberia at the end of the month. She is going to find out what it will take to put a well in this community. Our dream is to fund raise for the well in memory of Habukkuk.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Great Sadness
This is the email that I sent out yesterday:
Dear friends and family,
It is with tears that I inform you that our little boy, Habakkuk, is home with Jesus instead of with us.
After recovering from malaria, Habakkuk and his older brother, Michael, stayed with a foster family in Monrovia, Liberia. Yesterday, Habakkuk was very ill and was taken to a medical facility. He died there last night of cholera.
Cholera is caused most often by drinking dirty water. In its most severe forms, cholera is one of the most rapidly fatal illnesses known. In a common scenario, the disease progresses from the first liquid stool to shock in 4 to 12 hours, with death following.
Habakkuk was 2 1/2 years old. He lived with his maternal grandparents until recently. He is deeply loved by his family in Liberia as well as our family, as the son and brother we never met.
Please pray for his brother, Michael, and his grandma as they grieve. And pray for us too.
Thank you.
Peggy
Dear friends and family,
It is with tears that I inform you that our little boy, Habakkuk, is home with Jesus instead of with us.
After recovering from malaria, Habakkuk and his older brother, Michael, stayed with a foster family in Monrovia, Liberia. Yesterday, Habakkuk was very ill and was taken to a medical facility. He died there last night of cholera.
Cholera is caused most often by drinking dirty water. In its most severe forms, cholera is one of the most rapidly fatal illnesses known. In a common scenario, the disease progresses from the first liquid stool to shock in 4 to 12 hours, with death following.
Habakkuk was 2 1/2 years old. He lived with his maternal grandparents until recently. He is deeply loved by his family in Liberia as well as our family, as the son and brother we never met.
Please pray for his brother, Michael, and his grandma as they grieve. And pray for us too.
Thank you.
Peggy
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Grief
This afternoon I received a phone call that Habakkuk, our two year old, was very ill yesterday and was taking to the clinic/hospital, but they were unable to save him. Habakkuk died last night of cholera.
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