Another diamond

I realize now that some of my posts are not making sense to some of you who haven't talked to me in person lately. I've wanted to keep things simple, but usually things happen at the same time. So, during this time when Mark and I have been focusing on Habakkuk's Well, another wonderful thing happened. We became aware that Michael has a foster brother, Varney. We decided a few months ago that we would adopt him. We have since been sent pictures of the two of them. They are adorable!

And, the second very important thing is that the tragic case of the adoptive family in CA is NOT going to impact adoptions in Liberia. We are still waiting for the government to finish updating the adoption laws and accept new cases, but we have hope that it may happen in March or April and we are very much hoping and praying to travel to Liberia this summer.

So, if you have followed my blog, you know that the diamonds in my wedding ring have special meaning to me. And, I will be going to the jewelry store to replace the stone I lost. Of course, it won't be the same stone, that diamond is irreplaceable. But, with the Habakkuk's Well being constructed and another little boy to love, it's time to fill that empty spot. And, interesting enough, I recently began wearing my birth stone ring. For me, it symbolically reminds me to be who I am. Anyway, Evelyn noticed it and asked why I was wearing a new ring and I told her. And then she noticed, it also has a little diamond beside my birthstone and she commented, "And that little diamond is for Habakkuk now!" And so it is.

Diamonds

One of the hardest parts of losing Habakkuk is wondering if we missed God somehow. Adopting two children was not our plan in the beginning. We felt overwhelmed by the thought, but over time it just felt right.

I always thought my wedding ring, with six little diamonds on each side, was a sign that we would have six children someday. Over the past months, looking at my ring would remind me of the children that were coming, our boys.

After Habakkuk died, looking at my ring was painful. Not only because it reminded me that Habakkuk was gone but also the loss of what I thought was a promise.

So, God in His gentle goodness, gave me a new sign. Last Thursday, as I was loading up the bikes for vacation, I notice my ring catching on something. When I looked at it, one of the stones was gone. I looked for it, but didn't find it.

It immediately hit my heart. One of my diamonds is gone. I haven't told anyone this story in person yet, I don't know if I could. But, now when I look at my ring, my heart is filled with sweet sorrow. One of my diamonds is gone.